so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
