He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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