How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
