i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
PANTIES FOUND
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