Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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