Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
