tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
