I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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