I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize