I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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