trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
