so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
