Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
