She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
