they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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