It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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