Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
