just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
