I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize