I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
