Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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