did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
