my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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