I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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