We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
