Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
