that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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