its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
