So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
