When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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