i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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