he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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