She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This baby is an asshole
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
