You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
