Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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