It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
