dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize