omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
