i don't like sucking hair
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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