but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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