I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize
