I would go down on you faster than GM stock
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
