True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
