I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
