ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
