just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize