how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
