no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
