that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
