remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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