The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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