I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
