Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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