he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
