id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i think i just lost a toe
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
