she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Of course I have a pirate flag
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we should paint friendship bongs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
