I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
