Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.