I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.