I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."