So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.