Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
