are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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