What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
