I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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