Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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