You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
