but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
