Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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