just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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