my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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