i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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