woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
