I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
